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So... I want to apologize for yet another absence due to the fact that I've had so many stupid medical appointments.

The doctors seem to always find something wrong with me. The first day I showed up to the Dr appointment the lady took my blood pressure and automatically assumed I have blood pressure problems because it was high ( I was stressing for two weeks wondering if I was pregnant or not and I hate OB/Gyns) and despite them taking my blood pressure again before I left and it being normal they still freak out about it every time I go there when every time they check it's normal.

Then the next time I went they told me I had diabetes. They scared the shit out of me by telling me that if it was crazy high all the time I'd lose the baby or I'd have a misshaped baby...and to top it all they told me that even if I take care of myself my body might make my blood sugar go crazy anyway so basically they told me I'm fucked and my baby too. I cried so much that day... and the fucked up part is that every time I check my blood glucose it comes out normal (I've just been avoiding sugar like the plague.) When I went to the diabetes Dr she told me I wasn't crazy high and that I might have just been border line diabetic til I got pregnant so it will probably go away when I haver the baby. She also told me the baby would be fine. So I cried for days and was scared of no reason...

In the last visit they made me take an ultrasound, even though I'm not even 3 months yet, they measured 6 weeks or so, so there's not much to see in the first place. Then they told me my baby is behind and that I might miscarry. They don't even know when I'm due, don't even know how far along I am and don't even know WHY the baby is a week 'behind' and they tell me I might miscarry. You see? All they can tell me is they don't know anything and make a diagnosis they're pulling right out of their ass by telling me I might miscarry. Not only that but she tells me before even running blood tests or giving the baby time to develop.

So they just stress me the hell up, depress me and tell me shit for no reason. I made an appointment with another doctor somewhere else to see if they do a better job but I've been going up and down a roller coaster this past week. They actually took away the "magic" of pregnancy from me. I'm not even sure if I should've gotten pregnant in the first place now.